Casey vs The Space Hole Rift Thingy
by Red Bess Rackham
Summary: Because when you're separated by a few hundred years and several galaxies, it's not like sitting down for lunch is a probable or common occurrence. Oneshot, a little cracky.


**Disclaimer:** I do own a few shirts depicting Firefly/Serenity things on them, but as yet don't own a Chuck shirt. Oh yeah, nor the rights and stuff to them wonderful tv shows.

**A/n**: I was wearing a Serenity shirt while watching Chuck. And then this happened. It's fairly long, and hopefully not too gimmicky/shoe-horned or nonsensical. Also, there is one slight extra crossover for those paying attention. Hobey ho, let's go.

**Timeline**: Post BDM for Firefly. Perhaps S2ish for Chuck, though references some late S3 things, so. No specific spot.

* * *

**Casey vs. The Space Hole Rift Thingy**

_My dear boy,_

_I hope all is well with you, wherever you are. Your father says I am acting like a backbirth for continuing to write to you although you are dead, but I cannot believe that is true. You were never found, and that is enough hope for me._

_Matty had the Damp Lung but has since recovered well, and waves hello. I now have it and though it has weakened me a lot, I can still get up to make meals for everyone. Your father waves hello too. His company went through a rough spot but things are looking up as the welding business here is now booming._

_I hope this letter finds you, wherever you may be. If you are alive, please respond. I have made you the enclosed to keep you warm. Be well._

_Love, Your Mother

* * *

_

Casey methodically slapped prices on the vast pile of inventory before him. Yet another day at the Buy More. Of all the cover jobs he'd had to have in the past, this one was up there as one of least favorite. Not only was it tedious, full of slackers and irritating customers who'd he rather punch out than sell a fridge too, one of his bosses happened to be his own asset. It didn't get much more irritating than that.

At the moment, Leckter or Lester or whatever-his-name-was, was rattling on about the merits of fake breasts over real ones. Casey had long since tuned him out in disgust, but apparently eliciting no acknowledgment didn't bother the Indian man whatsoever, who simply kept talking.

As Casey looked up, finally ready to shut the annoyance up, he froze and his world came crashing down instantly. There in the doorway of the Buy More was someone he never, ever dreamed he would see again. Someone he regularly forgot about and dismissed from his memory, because really, when you're separated by a few hundred years and several galaxies, it's not like sitting down for lunch is a probable or common occurrence.

"Whoa, John, you okay there?" Lentil or Lester said, as the blood drained completely from Casey's face. "Kinda look like you're gonna... Ok, I'm gonna step back." He hurried backwards and became instantly distracted by the voluptuous female customer now stooping to reach a bottom shelf.

_No one can know, no one knows, no one..._

Casey stumbled forwards towards the man, still hovering near the doorway, who appeared to be a grimy, bearded version of Casey himself. From the Nerd Herd desk where he was nearly dozing off, Chuck blinked in surprise, sure he _had_ in fact fallen asleep and was dreaming. Or maybe seeing doubles. In any event, he was too curious by the frantic way Casey had man-handled the customer who looked too much like him out the door, that he hopped over the Herd desk and followed.

* * *

Casey shoved the man with unnecessary force into the alleyway.

"Hey _easy, _gorramit!" the man stumbled and protested.

"What're you doing here? How did you – how did you _find_ me?" Casey sputtered, his mind whirling. "How are you even -?"

"Wasn't easy, that's for ruttin' sure. Thought we was humped a coupla times - "

Blinking furiously – _he was dreaming, that's it. No, it's a trick, a clone, a... a.._ - Casey drew his gun, trying to quell his shaking hands.

"Whoa, whoa!"

"You better explain quick how the hell you are here."

_Click, click_.

Casey froze as a couple of guns were cocked and two people came into view, one from around the corner with (Casey noted ragefully) Bartowski, the other from the shadows of the alley.

"Might wanna drop that pistol," the man in a long brown trench coat said with a smirk.

Casey complied reluctantly.

Chuck looked between Casey, his bearded doppelganger, a black woman with a very large gun pointed at Casey's head and to the trench-coated man whose gun was trained on Chuck (who looked very familiar for some reason).

"Casey? Want to let me in on what exactly is going on here?" he asked nervously. He was more used to guns nowadays, what with being the Intersect and all, but that didn't exactly make him anymore comfortable when they were pointed at him. Or when Casey didn't have one.

The NSA agent hung his head with a sigh. "This would be my... twin brother."

After a few seconds of open-mouthed, extremely shocked silence on his part, Chuck said in awe, "Man, the twists just keep on coming with you."

* * *

Because the alley beside the Buy More was really not a great place to have a serious or rather secret conversation, the group opted to move to a more secure location. Brother or not, Casey wasn't about to take any chances, so they didn't go the Orange Orange but instead to Chuck's apartment. Casey reasoned his was too full of special equipment that could be wrecked in his brother's presence, and his brother and his friends seemed just as reluctant as he was to share their own space, wherever that may be. Chuck, naturally protested, but also naturally was overridden in the decision making by Casey.

Once there, they settled into Chuck's living room, all looking very much out of place.

"So... who wants to go first?" asked Chuck uneasily.

"What're you doing here?" Casey demanded without preamble. "How did you get here?"

"I don't rightly believe we could explain that even should we wish very badly," said the man in the trench coat, one Mal Reynolds.

"It's complicated." the black woman, Zoe Washburne, agreed with a solemn nod.

"Let's just say it involved one _really_ unstable scientist and all the luck in the 'verse." Mal smiled. "Much as I love the idea of seeing two Jaynes in one room, we'll be outside keeping watch for unfriendlies." He and Zoe exited and Chuck could see them standing guard outside the door.

He himself wondered if he should be joining them to give Casey some privacy, but before he got up to leave as well, Jayne started talking and Chuck was too interested to hear what he said that he opted to stay behind and listen.

"Look John, I would'na come if it ain't real 'portant. We all thought you was dead, anyhow, but this guy said he knew - "

"Get to the point, Jayne." Casey growled.

"Jayne?" A smile began to grow on Chuck's face. "Isn't that a gir- "

"I'll gut you," Jayne snapped in a low, dangerous voice, clenching his fist. He instantly made Chuck think of a more brutal, less stable version of Casey which was a seriously scary notion.

Chuck's eyes widened. "_Great_ name. Isn't that a-a _great_ name."

Casey glared and gave Chuck a Grunt #8 (a _get-the-hell-out_ grunt) which Chuck stood to obey but once again was halted by interest and curiosity trumping the threat of bodily harm from Casey.

Jayne turned back to Casey. "She's dyin', John. She's got the Damp Lung, and real bad. Got it from Matty. Never seen it this bad 'fore."

"Pneumonia. Not Damp Lung." His brother corrected in a gruff, automatic manner that made it clear he'd corrected him many times before. "Makes you sound like a moron when you call it that."

"Did ya hear me? I said she's - "

"I heard you."

"Who's dying?" asked Chuck before he could stop himself and remembering Casey did not want him present.

They seemed not to have heard however, or they both ignored him, continuing their conversation with increasingly raised voices.

"What do you expect me to do about it? I'm here, she's there. Not to mention the fact that I haven't spoken to any of you in more than... what, thirty years?"

"Don't matter!" Jayne insisted. "You were gone young but Momma, she still hangs on, still thinkin' you're comin' back."

"Well I'm not." Casey said flatly, his tone leaving no room for argument. Or so Chuck would have thought. Casey's twin brother Jayne either missed the cues or disregarded them.

"You sure as hell are too," he advanced on his brother challengingly. "Think I'd come all this gorram way, risking life an' limb, spending more than a few credits which I ain't got to spare, gettin' mixed up in all kinds of crazy time and space... _stuff_, just for ruttin' kicks? She is _dying_. And I'll be a _fay-fay duh pee-yen_ if I go home without you."

Casey shook his head dismissively.

Realization dawned on Chuck. "Wait, wait a minute. Casey, you're mother – the woman who gave birth to you – is _dying_ and you're not going to see her? Look I always thought you were kinda heartless, but this is a new low."

"It's not that easy, Chuck," Casey glared.

"How is it not easy? Where does she live? Casey, you've got connections, it can't be that hard to go see her."

"It's not like getting on a plane and flying across the country. She's not even..." He struggled to finish his sentence.

"She's not on this planet." Jayne supplied.

Chuck stared. "I'm sorry, I think you're brother is insane. Either that or I just heard him say that your mother is not on this _planet._"

"Well she's not." Jayne shrugged.

Casey didn't deny the fact but instead chose to avert his gaze, something very un-Casey-like to do, which unnerved Chuck more than the rest of the conversation thus far.

"Okay, Casey, you need to explain to me – explain why your brother – explain... just explain. Now."

Casey sighed. This was not something that was ever supposed to come to light, least of all to Bartowski. This was supposed to be a buried piece of his past, something even more buried than when he was Alex Coburn all those years ago. Something he had actually begun to forget about himself – until today.

"I'm not... from here, strictly speaking. I was born in 2473. And I was only fifteen when I got mixed up in serious accident on a mining vessel, searching for new crops and deposits. We shot through a wormhole and ended up drifting for a couple weeks. I was one of the only ones who made it. I got on a pod and made it to Earth-That-Was, which turned out to be just plain old Earth, somewhere in the seventies.

"I faked amnesia – people thought I was just a runaway or an orphan or something. I got my hands on papers – birth certificates, ID and the like, that said my name was Alex Coburn. You know what happened after that." He exhaled heavily. In a small way, it was a relief to have finally admitted it all aloud.

Chuck still stared. "But you said... I mean, I thought Keller gave you the name John Casey."

"He did. It was luck that the name he gave me was so close to my old name."

"Which is..."

"John Cobb." Jayne finished proudly.

Casey shot him a glare, having nearly forgotten his twin had been standing there still.

"Ok, alright, so your mom is, er, unconventionally far away, but, you still won't go see her?" Chuck said pleadingly. Even if both of his parents were rather absent from his life, he couldn't imagine knowing one of them was dying and not being by their side. Or at least_ trying_ to be.

"Look, I left all that behind when I crashed here. I'm not that person anymore. I'm not from that world anymore."

"Well, what am I ruttin' supposed to do, John, huh?" Jayne burst out angrily.

"Go home." Casey growled and turned away heading for the door.

"No way, you ain't gettin' out of this. You're a _Cobb_, dammit, whether you like it or not."

Casey rounded on his brother and out of either of instinct or ridiculous stupidity, Chuck leapt between them, putting his hands up and stopping them from exchanging blows. "Whoa, ok, everyone - calm down. There's got to be some sort of solution here."

Mal poked his head in the door. "Everything shiny in here? Or have they torn each other apart yet?"

"Just about to." Chuck glanced anxiously between the hard and angry gazes the twin brothers were exchanging and wisely stepped out from between them. He stared at Mal for a moment. "Hey, aren't you - don't you... write books? Or something? I swear I know you from somewhere."

One corner of Mal's lips quirked up in the type of smirk that showed he knew an amusing secret that Chuck was not privy to, before leaning back out of the door to continue guarding the apartment with Zoe. Chuck could've sworn he'd seen his face on some magazines or something. _Where was it..._

His attention snapped back to the situation at hand when his cell phone began to ring loudly. He fumbled for it and rushed from the room, trying to be at least somewhat polite.

"Hello?"

"Chuck? Thank God! Where are you and Casey? I asked Morgan and he said you both just hurried out and hadn't come back - "

"Sarah, oh no, everything's fine. You're not going to believe this..."

* * *

"You're a Cobb, John. That's gotta count fer somethin'." Jayne tried again after several moments of uneasy silence. "And it's _Momma_."

Casey sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. His mother... who he hadn't seen since he was very, very young, who was universes and more away, who was dying. On the one hand, he felt resolute in his feelings that it shouldn't matter. Days ago, for all he knew, his whole family was long dead. So why would it matter now?

Secondly, there was absolutely no way he could leave Burbank, especially not on some crazy, unstable mission to get back to the "right" universe. Supposing they fell through a different wormhole? Supposing it didn't work? They died? He couldn't back here, where he now belonged? Any number of things could wrong. Not to mention that he'd sworn an oath to his country, he was currently on a mission, and there was no way, even as much as he hated the Buy More, he'd be stopping in that duty unless directly ordered to by a superior.

No, there would be no way he would be going anywhere off planet any time soon.

Yet, on the other hand, it was his _mother_, and he'd be flat out lying if he claimed he hadn't thought about her fondly from time to time over the years, wishing futilely that he had never gotten aboard that mining vessel and been torn away from her. She was a simple woman, but she'd been very caring. And he did miss her.

"I can't go, Jayne," he finally said softly. "I just can't."

Jayne's shoulders slumped in deep disappointment. He wanted to hurl more angry words at his brother but was stopped by Zoe, who had silently entered the room (Casey had no idea when or how long she'd been there, and was extremely impressed at once by her skill), who spoke.

"What if you just wrote her a letter?" she said simply.

* * *

"Guess this is it, then." Jayne shifted uneasily, never good with emotion or goodbyes and all that pointless stuff. He awkwardly held out his hand to shake his brother's.

"Guess so." Casey replied, then grunted (Grunt #12, Chuck noted, the _I-have-more-to-say-but-can't-or-won't_ grunt).

"Well, it's been interesting," Mal glanced between the twins. "But we do have ourselves one helluva complicated ride back to our 'verse and we wouldn't want to be late for our space hole, rift, thingy." He saluted Casey and Chuck, then he and Zoe began to exit the courtyard, Jayne following, the envelope from Casey safely tucked away in his deepest pocket.

It was then that Casey noticed the very large gun strapped to his brother's back. He inhaled sharply. "Is that a Callahan - ?"

Jayne turned, grinning and suddenly looked as though Christmas had come early. Chuck raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Callahan fullbore autolock, with a customized trigger and double cartridge thourough-gage, yeah," Jayne nodded vigorously, grabbing the gun off his back to properly show Casey.

"I remember seeing the very first conception plans for this before I left," Casey stroked the gun in awe. "I always wanted to see one."

"She's old, but she's still my favorite gun."

Casey, Chuck was a little shocked to note, almost grinned himself right then. It was a relatively small smile, but it was big by Casey's standards. He grunted (#3 this time, the _I-am-genuinely-impressed_ one) and the two brothers then headed over to Casey's apartment where Casey proceeded to show off all of his government supplied weaponry.

* * *

The strange trio left about an hour later. Using some very particular connections, they secured their cloaked ride back to the edge of the galaxy where they met their crew and proceeded to tell stories of the government agent who was in fact Jayne's much smarter (and clean-shaven) twin brother. They caught their "space hole, rift, thingy" (as Mal had so eloquently put it) and after a tense hour or so, appeared back in their own universe.

Jayne's mother wept when she read the letter from Casey, saying she had known it all along. She passed the next day in her sleep, surrounded by her family, less one son.

* * *

Back down on Earth, the secret of Casey's brother stayed between the three members of Team Bartowski. Though Chuck initially had tried to get more information about Casey's old life out of him, he was not-so-politely told off and Sarah convinced him this was something that they both needed to leave alone.

"There are just some things..." she sort of half-shrugged, unable to articulate what exactly she meant.

Chuck nodded anyway, not quite sure he understood, certainly wanting to know more, but decided he would wait for the day when Casey was so inebriated he would spill the beans or something. Though he doubted Mister No-Fun and Always-In-Control could ever end up in such a state.

Although there _was_ that one time, with the whole Ilsa thing...

* * *

Casey was methodically slapping prices on a vast pile of inventory at the Buy More while Jet or Jeff or whatever-his-name-was leaned on a shelf nearby and rambled incessantly about the merits and downfalls of each of the newest flavors of Dorito chips.

_Can't stop the signal..._

**-end-

* * *

**

**A/n: **I don't have much explanation for this oneshot. Plot bunnies cropped out of nowhere and I couldn't do anything else until I'd spilled this out. Not sure I like it as much as I liked the original idea, but anyways. Thanks for reading and reviews are loved!

**Chinese Translations**

_fay-fay duh pee-yen - baboon's buttcrack  
_


End file.
